There comes a time in all gamers' lives, a time we all strive for, often thinking it has arrived just to be blown away on the wind of another's calling once again. We search, we grasp, we pine and crave and desperately shuffle through the backlog of games constantly piling upon our digital and literal shelves, wishing and hoping for the day a game comes along to change the way we view interactive media.
For me, that quest has reached its end.
I don't remember when I picked up Dark Souls. I probably checked out the cover and thought, "Hey, that dude has a big fucking sword and some cool armor. I like big fucking swords and cool armor, I should get it." And I did. I went home and played it for about four hours straight.
I fucking hated the piece of shit.
Don't leave immediately, my tale is not finished. I reform and grow as my story continues, in my desperate struggle to master a game which so far had mastered me so hard I couldn't walk for days. In my pain, I succumbed to the one thing all gamers' dread: failure.
In shame I ejected the disk from my PS3, put it in purgatory upon my pile of games, and walked away. I walked away and was defeated. I thought it would be my last venture into those cursed ruins.
Boy was I wrong. Like the abyss had infected my soul, I hungered. I hungered for something I could not understand. I went through games like Ron Jeremy went through condoms. But, probably also like Ron Jeremy, something just didn't feel right. Luckily in my case it wasn't a painful disease, just an emptiness. I couldn't understand why I felt so.
I finished the games I was going to finish, left desiring more. Until I spied Dark Souls sitting off in a discarded corner, unloved and unfinished. In my desperation, I did it again. But it was different this time. It was easier, but better. I could do it without wanting to tear my eyelashes out and stick them up a rabid wolverine's ass. I was getting better...
And it was fucking glorious.
I would slash and back-stab, parry and riposte my way through waves of bacon-zombies and pissed off trees, impale dragons and fight epic bosses. I would die, but it would be my fault, never the games'. And right there is the single most beautiful aspect of the game; it is you and only you to blame for your pathetic-ness. The only way to rise up once again, to look at the beautiful scenery starkly contrasting the immense struggle and pain of the world I was caught up in, was to suck up my pride and try again. To learn more about the lore and the amazingly realized world, there was hundreds of dedicated fans just waiting at my fingertips. This was it, I had found my end-quest. I found that game I have been searching for for so long.
Many do not feel the same. I understand, I truly do, but there is no better feeling than discussing this game with someone who knows and feels the same way as you. I implore you, at least try it.
I guess I should actually review the game, huh?
The mechanics are masterful, timing is of the utmost importance and you will be obliterated if you don't watch out. The swordplay feels heavy and powerful, as if you are truly damaging what you are hitting. The spells are satisfying and give the game a whole different feel. The graphics are far from the best technically, however they are used in such a beautiful and majestic way as to create a world that feels alive inside your head. The way light shines through the clouds upon your Most-Jolly companion awes and breathes so much love into this game it is hard not to feel as if you are there (not that you would want to be, fuck that shit seriously). The online is implemented in an innovative and amazing, if not a little broken (a lot broken), fashion. The game is not without flaws, however I find that the rest of the game shines so bright the flaws may as well not even exist. This game is not for everyone, but if you call yourself a gamer, you owe it to your pride to at least try it.
For me, that quest has reached its end.
I don't remember when I picked up Dark Souls. I probably checked out the cover and thought, "Hey, that dude has a big fucking sword and some cool armor. I like big fucking swords and cool armor, I should get it." And I did. I went home and played it for about four hours straight.
I fucking hated the piece of shit.
Don't leave immediately, my tale is not finished. I reform and grow as my story continues, in my desperate struggle to master a game which so far had mastered me so hard I couldn't walk for days. In my pain, I succumbed to the one thing all gamers' dread: failure.
In shame I ejected the disk from my PS3, put it in purgatory upon my pile of games, and walked away. I walked away and was defeated. I thought it would be my last venture into those cursed ruins.
Boy was I wrong. Like the abyss had infected my soul, I hungered. I hungered for something I could not understand. I went through games like Ron Jeremy went through condoms. But, probably also like Ron Jeremy, something just didn't feel right. Luckily in my case it wasn't a painful disease, just an emptiness. I couldn't understand why I felt so.
I finished the games I was going to finish, left desiring more. Until I spied Dark Souls sitting off in a discarded corner, unloved and unfinished. In my desperation, I did it again. But it was different this time. It was easier, but better. I could do it without wanting to tear my eyelashes out and stick them up a rabid wolverine's ass. I was getting better...
And it was fucking glorious.
I would slash and back-stab, parry and riposte my way through waves of bacon-zombies and pissed off trees, impale dragons and fight epic bosses. I would die, but it would be my fault, never the games'. And right there is the single most beautiful aspect of the game; it is you and only you to blame for your pathetic-ness. The only way to rise up once again, to look at the beautiful scenery starkly contrasting the immense struggle and pain of the world I was caught up in, was to suck up my pride and try again. To learn more about the lore and the amazingly realized world, there was hundreds of dedicated fans just waiting at my fingertips. This was it, I had found my end-quest. I found that game I have been searching for for so long.
Many do not feel the same. I understand, I truly do, but there is no better feeling than discussing this game with someone who knows and feels the same way as you. I implore you, at least try it.
I guess I should actually review the game, huh?
The mechanics are masterful, timing is of the utmost importance and you will be obliterated if you don't watch out. The swordplay feels heavy and powerful, as if you are truly damaging what you are hitting. The spells are satisfying and give the game a whole different feel. The graphics are far from the best technically, however they are used in such a beautiful and majestic way as to create a world that feels alive inside your head. The way light shines through the clouds upon your Most-Jolly companion awes and breathes so much love into this game it is hard not to feel as if you are there (not that you would want to be, fuck that shit seriously). The online is implemented in an innovative and amazing, if not a little broken (a lot broken), fashion. The game is not without flaws, however I find that the rest of the game shines so bright the flaws may as well not even exist. This game is not for everyone, but if you call yourself a gamer, you owe it to your pride to at least try it.