In all my time of watching movies, loving cinema and all out enjoying this hobby of mine where I watch other people do hard work for my entertainment, never have I dreamed of experiencing something of this calibre. It has shown me a whole other level of cinema and the magic of movies. It has taken me by the hand and led me down the rabbit hole that is Tommy Wiseau's mind and opened my eyes to a spectrum of unbelievable, undeniable, inscrutable, unattainable and unnecessary shit. Just, pure and utter shit. Such a pure form of shit that it may even be cleaner than partially digested food. It is the diamond shit among shits of disinterest.
I think I lost the metaphor somewhere up there. I can say without a doubt that it is the worst movie I have ever seen. In that, it is one of the most memorable, quotable and hilarity inducing piles of shame in all of cinematic history. By watching this 'movie', I have opened my soul to something that can never be recreated, at least intentionally. In a similar way to how Pompeii attempted to be serious while failing on most levels, this film fails on every single level imaginable and some that aren't imaginable/exist. It takes everything that makes up what a movie should be and puts it in a blender along with a healthy dosing of some sort of illegal drug and some sawdust. The result is this movie, and it is truly one of the funniest things in existence.
To list all the good things about this movie:
How this film got funding is a mystery I don't think anybody will ever discover. This film is such a monumental landmark in our society and culture that it spawned a book, written by one of the actors in the movie, which is now being made into a movie. So, it's a movie, directed by James Franco, based on a book which details the events of making a movie. A movie about a book about a movie. Incredulity is a reasonable reaction to this. That doesn't take away from the fact that there is no way in hell I'm going to miss that movie.
I believe watching this movie should be a rite of passage, one that all should take. It transforms you from an adult with responsibility into a child once again. It's reverse puberty, taking logic and consistency and replacing it with an accent from a different universe and a butt so sculpted you can feel the marble through the screen. It is a disturbing look into what can happen when someone with the mind of a mildly retarded mannequin is allowed to direct, write, produce and star in his own movie. It is an experience no one should ever deny.
When considering the technical aspects of the movie:
Acting: If acting is what you can call it. It's more like a magician breathed life into a collection of children's toys, they grew up, mated and had inbred children. However, that is most likely due to the fact that no-one, except Tommy Wiseau of course, thought the movie was actually going to be released. Their lacklustre acting is contrasted by Tommy's (I think) sincere attempt at drama and emotion. What comes out is what looks and sounds like what happens when you cross a disturbed schizophrenic child with Gary Busey and Steven Seagal's love child. Just sheer brilliance.
Story: Hahahahahahahahaha
Directing: Tommy has outdone himself in terms of absolutely outstanding direction. With inconsistencies in almost every shot, not including the story ones, the entire movie looks like a really bad soap opera. To be fair, I would rather watch this than the Bold and the Beautiful or whatever. Entertainment is abundant in this film.
In conclusion, The Room is truly a cinematic experience unlike any other. Equal parts soap opera, pseudo-porn and the ravings of a human caricature. The Room embodies everything a movie shouldn't be and wraps it up with a nice hilarity-ribbon.
Please watch it. I implore you.
I think I lost the metaphor somewhere up there. I can say without a doubt that it is the worst movie I have ever seen. In that, it is one of the most memorable, quotable and hilarity inducing piles of shame in all of cinematic history. By watching this 'movie', I have opened my soul to something that can never be recreated, at least intentionally. In a similar way to how Pompeii attempted to be serious while failing on most levels, this film fails on every single level imaginable and some that aren't imaginable/exist. It takes everything that makes up what a movie should be and puts it in a blender along with a healthy dosing of some sort of illegal drug and some sawdust. The result is this movie, and it is truly one of the funniest things in existence.
To list all the good things about this movie:
- The topless scenes
- The unintentional hilarity factor
- ...
How this film got funding is a mystery I don't think anybody will ever discover. This film is such a monumental landmark in our society and culture that it spawned a book, written by one of the actors in the movie, which is now being made into a movie. So, it's a movie, directed by James Franco, based on a book which details the events of making a movie. A movie about a book about a movie. Incredulity is a reasonable reaction to this. That doesn't take away from the fact that there is no way in hell I'm going to miss that movie.
I believe watching this movie should be a rite of passage, one that all should take. It transforms you from an adult with responsibility into a child once again. It's reverse puberty, taking logic and consistency and replacing it with an accent from a different universe and a butt so sculpted you can feel the marble through the screen. It is a disturbing look into what can happen when someone with the mind of a mildly retarded mannequin is allowed to direct, write, produce and star in his own movie. It is an experience no one should ever deny.
When considering the technical aspects of the movie:
Acting: If acting is what you can call it. It's more like a magician breathed life into a collection of children's toys, they grew up, mated and had inbred children. However, that is most likely due to the fact that no-one, except Tommy Wiseau of course, thought the movie was actually going to be released. Their lacklustre acting is contrasted by Tommy's (I think) sincere attempt at drama and emotion. What comes out is what looks and sounds like what happens when you cross a disturbed schizophrenic child with Gary Busey and Steven Seagal's love child. Just sheer brilliance.
Story: Hahahahahahahahaha
Directing: Tommy has outdone himself in terms of absolutely outstanding direction. With inconsistencies in almost every shot, not including the story ones, the entire movie looks like a really bad soap opera. To be fair, I would rather watch this than the Bold and the Beautiful or whatever. Entertainment is abundant in this film.
In conclusion, The Room is truly a cinematic experience unlike any other. Equal parts soap opera, pseudo-porn and the ravings of a human caricature. The Room embodies everything a movie shouldn't be and wraps it up with a nice hilarity-ribbon.
Please watch it. I implore you.